If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger

About the idea that being beaten is to be considered a good thing

Photo by Robert McGowan on Unsplash

Life will give you some challenges, that’s unavoidable.

You may want to go to these with an attempt to analyze the situation and play the game in the safest possible way, not taking any unnecessary risks.

But then there are those challenges, that somehow will be unpleasant, no matter what you do, and where the only way you can make yourself actually face them, is to persuade yourself with that “if it doesn’t kill you, it makes you stronger” phrase.

You have heard it said several times, and it sounded like nonsense. But when you need to find strength to do something, it fits right into the mind that is desperately looking for something to help it keep up the spirit.

Looking at it objectively, it is often wrong. Let’s say you are being hit by a falling piano – well, not getting killed by that is great, but you will probably not feel the least strong, in any way, after that. It is much more likely that you will end up with some fragile bone repairs and an eternal anxiety of something falling down on you.

But while the body might be hurt by the event, and the mind becoming anxious, it also helps you to understand that it is indeed possible to survive something that didn’t look like it, which can be considered a strength.

Cast-aways, cancer patients, people who were held hostage by terrorists, and many other people who have felt death breathing on them, often developed a more calm and brave personality afterward. When first the shock had settled, they understood, knowingly or instinctively, that it would be difficult for any new event to get as bad as the one they had survived.

Many illnesses leave a trace in the body, that remains long after they are gone. A flu is an obvious example, as it actually strengthens your immune system. It is a bit tricky to claim that this is a strength, though, as it is rather a kind of stress condition the body enters. A human body, and the bodies of many other animals, can handle quite a lot of such immunological stress, but it can get too much as well, leading to the immune system malfunctioning in various ways, such as, itself making you ill.

In general, every strength is also a weakness, and vice versa. It all depends on the situation. When getting ill and needing a time on the hospital, for instance, with operations or chemical treatment, it can be an advantage and a help for the healing process to be a bit more round than the typical body ideal. This will mean that the body has some resources to use during the process. It can get too much, though, so that the body weight itself can make the healing process more complicated – and also the practical handling by the staff at the hospital.

Having a strong body with “pumped up” muscles, being a body builder or similar, can mean that you are more receptive to some virus and bacteria attacks, as the immune system is too stressed from handling the burden of all the training. But the strength can on the other side help you not to get hurt if you need to lift something heavy, just as a silly example.

In general, being beaten will make you weaker. Boxing and some other contact sports can lead to brain damages, broken noses, and many other problems, as a direct result of those beats that “didn’t kill you” – and which certainly did not make you stronger either.

Lost love, being mocked, and many other social conditions, can lead to depressions and a fragile mind. Sometimes it may simply be a matter of latent problems getting exposed, but that by itself is felt as a weakening, not a strength. Knowing that you can be suicidal, for instance, is not a strength compared to not knowing that.

Overall, it is probably best and safest to avoid such things that could kill you. If you survive them, you’ll most often be weaker afterward, not stronger.